Including your children into your elopement day can add warmth, meaning, and create lasting memories for the whole family. Just because you are eloping doesn’t mean you can’t have your kiddos present for this big milestone for your family. More and more couples are opting to include their children on their elopement day, and fostering a sense of unity and family bonding!
If your children are old enough to understand, talk with them when you are planning your elopement and have them be involved in some of the things you do on that day/trip. Let them help you with the decision making where it is appropriate. This is a great way to make your children feel important and like this is a whole family union.
Brainstorm roles that your children can take on during the elopement ceremony and festivities.
Examples include ring bearers, flower girls, or even having them recite a special reading or poem during the ceremony. If you are going to do activities during your elopement day, ask them for input on what they think the whole family would have fun doing.
Design a ceremony that centers around the family unit, emphasizing love, unity, and togetherness. Consider rituals or activities that symbolize the blending of families, such as a family sand ceremony or planting a tree together. I’ve also seen where the couple gift their child with something special so they feel included and have something to remember the day by.
Hire an elopement photographer to capture precious moments throughout the day with your family. Have them get candid shots of children laughing, playing, and participating in the celebration.
Incorporate vows or promises specifically directed towards your children. Let them know that you acknowledge this union will effect them, too, and that they are an important part of what is happening. This can include promises to always support and nurture them, emphasizing the importance of the new family dynamic.
Establish traditions that the family can carry on in the years to come, whether it’s revisiting the elopement location annually or doing an activity on your elopement day that you can do every year to celebrate with your children. It can be anything from making cookies or your own cake, having a picnic, planting a tree, or even something like a hike, kayaking, or horseback riding!
Mona and Trase, one of my couples last year, included their children but also made time to have alone. We started our day at Dead Horse Point State Park at sunrise, where they had a private moment together and took photos as the sun came up. Then we went back to their Airbnb where they got their children ready for the ceremony and made breakfast with everyone. Afterwards, we went out to a remote spot with everyone and they had their children where there as they said their vows to each other. It was a special moment for all of them and one I’m sure they won’t forget!
Take time after the elopement to reflect on the experience as a family. Encourage open dialogue about emotions and memories, reinforcing the significance of the day and the strength of the family bond. And get your photos printed. And make an album that your children can look through and show their friends and other family members!
If you have children already at the point of getting married, it can be really important for you and them to include them on your elopement day. And can be a great and significant way to bond if you are blending two families together.
There can still be plenty of time for just the two of you to have time together alone on your elopement day. But consider including your children as well. And if you need more ideas on how to include your children on your elopement day, I can always help you brainstorm!